Self-assessment and self-compassion is not self-criticism or self-pity. It is taking the time to process an emotion or situation and feeling how that emotion or situation makes you feel.
To survive in this crazy busy world we have become very good at self-criticism. We learn to tell ourselves off for what we perceive as failures. With this can come depression, sadness, isolation and under performance. While suffering is a component of the human condition, if not recognized it can defeat our overall happiness…and that sucks.
Before going into problem solving mode and giving ourselves compassion we have to notice our suffering and pain. Stop and really feel the pain that goes along with self-judge. OUCH! Taking the time to notice and acknowledge our pain and suffering is mindfulness. Mindfulness is actively feeling in the now, not thinking in the past or future. The past is long gone and the future is yet to come, so be present and process how you feel in the now moment.
After taking a short amount of time to not wallow, but rather process your feelings of pain, stop being so mean and unkind to yourself. Give yourself permission to be kind to yourself. Ask yourself ,“would I talk to a friend or a love one like this?”.
Give yourself the permission to be kind. Say loving things to yourself. Write a letter to yourself from the prospective of someone who loves you unconditionally. Do not worry about sentence structure or grammar. After writing this letter set the letter aside for 30 minutes. After 30 minutes read the letter. Say the compassionate words allowed. Feel the words as they are being read and know that this is the true and authentic story assessment you.
When face with challenging situations that may potentially lead to self-criticism, know that no one is perfect. While you may not hear about the lineage of failures that led up to someone’s success, know that they occurred.
For more information of the practice of self-compassion, contact me at email@example.com. I invite you to reach out to me by either commenting on this blog or privately by emailing me.
I am here to help you to feel your very best!